Hiking with Children
When we first started intentionally increasing our time outside, I was met with emphatic resistance on the part of my 5-year-old. My 2-year-old son was delighted to sit in the sandbox and dig for an hour in blissful solitude. My daughter, however, preferred to stand at the door, banging her fists against the glass, screaming at the top of her lungs. “I DON’T WANNA BE OUTSIDE! I HATE OUTSIDE! LET. ME. IN!” She could keep it up for a very long time. I know, because she always started screaming when I had just started putting the baby down for a nap. Nothing tries a mother’s patience like a big kid screaming and repeatedly waking an almost-asleep baby.
Far from convincing me to give up on the idea, I became even more determined. A 5-year-old should be able to play outside without having a meltdown. The weather was beautiful, we had a lovely yard, what was wrong?
It turns out, children don’t like to be sent out to play—at least not at first. She hadn’t developed the love for the outdoors yet. Weeks later, I could say, “you can go play outside” and they would go, delighted, and entertain themselves building whole worlds, imagining life into sticks and rocks and grass. But we weren’t there yet. Children don’t want to be sent away—they need to be invited along with us, to discover nature with people they love. When I stopped saying “go” and started saying “come” my children fell in love with the outdoors.
Hiking was part of this. I learned from observing other seasoned hiking mamas to stop dragging my kids along at my pace, and instead follow their natural curiosity and wonder on the trail. Hiking changed for me from an athletic pursuit to true connection and appreciation of nature. I am so grateful to my children for teaching me how to hike.
I am a very structured, goal-oriented person by nature, and I have passed this on to my children. But I didn’t want to bring this with me into nature. I know my kids feel the weight of my expectations for them to behave well, work hard, and make good choices—and for a little kid, that can turn into feeling constantly corrected. It is for this reason that I made the conscious choice to say “yes” as often as possible outdoors. Embracing this has brought me freedom, and allowed nature to be a sanctuary—the one place where I can whole-heartedly encourage my kids to get messy, to let go of the outcome, to go ahead and hold the creepy-crawly. It’s done wonders for my anxiety, in and out of the house. But there are a few guidelines that I use that I think can bring some benefit when introducing children to hiking.
Distance = age in miles
For the most part, young children should be able to easily hike their age in miles. We often underestimate how strong kids are. Of course, it is important to work up to it if your children are not used to this type of physical exertion. Currently, my 5-year-old can hike 5 miles without complaint, and 6 with encouragement. My toddler can hike 2 miles happily in the morning—it's more difficult as we get closer to naptime. Know your children. There is a difference between a truly worn-out child with aching legs, and a child that needs encouragement to keep going. This mileage is more to help you know what your kids are capable of than anything else—your first priority should be enjoyment, not a set number of miles.
One mile = one hour
As a general rule, I plan for 1 hour per mile with hiking children. Last summer we took some friends hiking with us, and I mentioned that I estimated it would take us 3 hours to hike a trail with the kids. Our friend laughed, thinking we were joking. They were shocked to find it was an accurate estimate for an enjoyable hike.
An enjoyable hike with children is different than an enjoyable hike with adults
A hike with kids takes longer because they walk slower, and stop often. Good reasons to stop: to examine a flower, pick up a rock, identify a tree. Going to the bathroom on the trail (more on this later). Water or snack break. Playing in a creek, climbing trees, clambering over rocks. Kids want to stop and experience a hike, not plow on through and only spend 2 minutes at the lookout point. Plan for this, lean into it, and you will discover a new world of hiking, yourself.
There is no bad weather, only bad clothing
Nature is not only for sunny and 75. Embrace the cold, snow, rain, wind, and heat. Use positive words to describe the weather—your children will follow your lead in this. Is it really cold and windy? Or is it brisk and invigorating? Is it too cold to be outside? Or do you need to pull on some wool socks? Dress for the weather—wear layers. Allow your kids to wear clothes that they can be messy in.
Come prepared
Consider the activity, and possible pitfalls. You don’t need to bring the kitchen sink, but wearing hiking/water shoes in summer will allow your children to play freely without concern for getting their shoes wet or muddy. If your child always manages to soak themselves to the skin playing in the creek, consider tossing a change of clothes in your kit. Bug spray, first aid kit, hand sanitizer…you get the idea. Toss it all in your backpack and leave it there, to save time on frequent day-hikes.
Pack snacks
Lots of snacks equals happy hikers, especially for long trails. We keep it simple with granola bars, dried fruits, nuts, crackers, or even chocolate for those special waterfall or mountain top moments.
Encourage your children
Any time you introduce something new, your kids will probably need some encouragement. Hiking longer distances, more difficult terrain, or transitioning from riding to walking all fit this category. Along with taking reasonable breaks, positive reinforcement is key. Children tend to think of themselves as we treat them. Telling a kid they are slow, whiny, or otherwise reinforcing that they are falling short of your expectation is counterproductive. Your child will simply decide they aren’t good at hiking and don’t enjoy it. Phrases like, “come on, you’ve only been walking x miles/minutes” are hurtful rather than helpful. In contrast, children are buoyed up by feelings of competence and strength. Tell your child they are strong, that they have hiking legs, that you are impressed with them. Acknowledge the difficulty of a trail and praise them for pushing through and completing it. Our daughter nicknamed herself “Adventure Girl” on the hike down to Linville Falls, and took great joy in shocking passing hikers in her ability to cope with very difficult terrain. She set the pace for us, and left us panting behind her, as she called out, “Adventure Girl leads the way!” That hike became a mastery experience for her, a time when she learned her own strength. She often reminds us of that hike—it is a point of pride and peace, knowing that she can do hard things.
Celebrate milestones
In our family, we like to mark certain milestones. Walking children earn hiking/water shoes. Once a child hikes 2 miles without complaint or assistance, they earn their adventure pack and water bladder. Very difficult hikes, or other firsts, we mark with a special pin. Our daughter earned her first pin on the hike to Linville Falls. Her second pin, she earned with her first backpacking trip. Celebrating your children’s accomplishments with functional incentives facilitates a greater excitement and love for adventure.
Adjust your expectations
Your children may be tired, grumpy, or resistant to something new. Or they may be thrilled, fill their shoes with mud, attempt to drown themselves in a creek, and take apart a yellow-jacket’s nest to see what’s inside. The first few times may be very rough, and even once you’re a seasoned hiker, you will have days where everything just seems to go wrong. (Sounds like parenthood!) Decide to be okay with it. Your children are challenging themselves. This is growth. As time goes on, the catastrophes will diminish, your kids will learn to leave bees alone, and you will begin to reap the rewards. If all else fails, remember that 3 hours on a hike with kids is 3 hours your children are not in front of a screen—or dumping out every single spice jar from the cupboard.
Hike frequently
Once you’ve established a pattern or caught your children’s interest, the worst thing you can do is take a break from hiking. You’ve done the work of getting your kids used to walking for x miles, carrying their own pack, and embracing weather and mess—don’t wait too long before your next hike, or you may have to get them used to it all over again.
Your kids are resilient
They are stronger than you think, and much less fragile than we are led to believe. Chances are, they can do more than you—or even they—realize. Whenever possible, say “yes” to your kids. Let them play in the mud—it will wash off. Let your five-year-old run ahead a bit on the trail. Let them try to climb that rock or tree. Encourage them, and they will build confidence in themselves.
Trust yourself
Now take everything I said, cherry-pick what you like, and throw the rest out the window. You don’t have to have all of the gear, all of the training, and all of the rules. This is what has helped me create a culture for my children. You will build your own. The most important thing is to take action NOW. Don’t wait for someday—you are limitless.